it's not the preparation
or the base we'll be calling home
that shrieks in my head like chased prey
but the sound of trees dropping fruit
and losing leaves.
what a scream.
nothing's perfect,
but what could be worse than this?
my old man, the old man,
not wise, or grown, just old.
no kind words any more for me,
the seeds you sowed between us
grow strong in the hot black sun.
I won't live like you have,
a youthful buck on the side of the road
for months, rotting.
atrophy's your middle name, right?
but promptness is ours
and it will take less than 48 hours all told
for me to disappear from your life,
even if I crawl away,
plucking pins and need
dear you, little white friend,
would that life were easier,
would that finding comfort in your arms
was a real answer instead of a distraction.
when your superman dons his monochrome,
hides in his fortress, is his own kryptonite,
you lay in bed and wonder
why do I even read comic books anymore
packing my suitcase, get out the back Jack,
a sort of mourning without death,
I was an orphan before the death of my parents
I was always staring up at this ceiling, from day one
I have so much hope for new beginnings
even if as my life is starting, yours is ending
your loss will be as a leaf in autumn,
your body the mulch that feed's next summer's g
I have heaps of lover's sighs
you hand me in the dark
sincerely whispered.
They carry me through the day
and I wake up with a genuine reason -
a rope I pull myself on
that leads into our future.
But I want to know,
were you serious?
I'll throw myself into our life -
but if you meant it,
stars and stars and stars.
Bone dust, sugar.
I know the feeling,
so I can't say anything
but kiss your face and hold your hand.
When your train comes,
I'm on it, babe.
We'll be together forever.
hey daddy
look at me
watch me
look what I can do
because you taught me to
hey daddy
where'd you go
wait up
pick me up
carry me
please?
hey daddy
it doesn't matter
God loves us
I had a dream
heaven will be you and me
you pushing me on a swing
hey daddy
don't be sad
I don't know what to do
I'm not big and strong like you
please don't cry, daddy
how did you teach me how to be brave
if you didn't know what brave was?
hey daddy
I can't deal
I'm gonna run away
I'm too old for this
you were supposed to take care of me
now the big shoes are on the little feet
I don't know what to do
you raised me without the things that
You bury the hatchet
deep in my chest,
biting into my bones.
We haunt one another's hearts,
my cold fingers in your rib cage,
your ghost staring out my windows.
I can't see you if I can't see me -
I can't see a thing.
Nothing sticks in the slip
between before and now,
but your voice is there at the edge of nothing.
You can spare no comforting word,
blind in a different way,
indifferent to your own hands,
pulling, clutching.
but as the water rises to our shoulders,
we tilt our chins up for air,
eyes locked -
til the tide rushes out,
and I catch my breath in your wake
and I'm in a cold room.
We never quite drown in it.
...
There you go again,
the boring old
"you're beautiful."
You don't even realize
it's almost an insult.
Exactly what I want,
there can be no telling -
just know this:
only the smallest part of my soul
exists in my hide.
Cut me open,
I'll still have words to say,
sharp like bits of glass,
ends of needles,
true like a deep cut.
I make a bed of them.
You're welcome to sleep there,
in the blood and soul of me.
You'll know you belong there
when my skin tastes electric,
when I echo the sound in your head,
when there's comfort in your scars,
when there's nowhere else to go
because no one else knows.
Unsaid words.
I was your freetime.
I never had to worry.
You never asked about the sand in my pockets.
... Did you know there was sand in my pockets?
I could never tell you.
I was so bored.
There's comfort in that, you know?
Doubts were the bread at my table.
I stared at them and starved.
But I couldn't get away from it -
as perfect as you were,
I hated everything about you.
Your effort.
Your effortlessness.
Your charity.
Your thorough nature.
Your naïvité.
Your intellect.
I don't need your acknowledgement.
I'm just here to say
I think it was a waste of time.
the dream boys tore my walls down,
and woke me to a haze.
I ignored the letters in my mailbox,
pretending not to notice
that the king has lost his mind.
I wandered down to my job,
stapled my fingers together,
and jumped out a window,
last paycheck in hand,
to the dirt six feet below.
I'd spit in their faces if they weren't so nice,
I'd kick them in the shins if I were 12 again.
my life's become the hour long drive
it takes to reach your door,
and you open it when I knock,
and I couldn't be more grateful for that.
we hold seances together
and whisper about ghosts (alive and dead)
and paint each other's bodies with glitter.
m
Join the Waiting List for DeviantArt Eclipse by danlev, journal
Join the Waiting List for DeviantArt Eclipse
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send me your seeds
in the same tube
we
discussed
wave and recede
'til they breathe
the dust
of us
it's just
there's much
I'd like to touch
hearts
hands
and such
and oh!
the time
that I
would spend
laying my roots
sans stems
and shoots
a truth
where animals
are animate
and trees
are not born
men
I can't defend
much less
depend upon
a sky lit
by
moonshine
pink within
but though
I dream
of other worlds
than these
I
can not
change my skin
Hey friend. Hope you are well. Been a while since I've been on here, but I always seem to remember your name when I log on. Figured I'd check in on you.