Woooo public journal time. UPDATE-Y.

Life is going pretty awesome. I paid off that stupid debt that my ex had accrued, so that's good. It kind of occurred to me that I'll probably never see him ever again. I would have to physically go out of my way to find him, and even that would be difficult, as I don't know where he lives. NOR DO I REALLY GIVE A SHIT (let's hope it's a cardboard box)

I still keep looking at the calendar and feeling blown away. Some of the stuff that I sent, emails still laying around, is just... mind-blowing, to me. Like going from saying "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", to five days later, hating someone more than anything. WELCOME TO DENIAL CITY, NEXT STOP - MISERABLE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I'm a lot more... in touch with how I feel about things now - if I'm remotely uncomfortable, I see that as a red flag now.

I think that's why things with Mitch didn't work out - I really liked how much he liked me, in contrast to how Zack treated me, but I think that it never quite clicked for me. We never quite matched up, and I could feel that, so I broke up with him, because I felt like he deserved better (as stupid as that sounds, even to me, but after the past year, I want to be 100% in a relationship, devoted and crazy about them, before I'll let things get too far again.)

WOO ANYWAY. Still living with my parents, need to get my school situation figured out. My primary goals are as such:

- learn to drive my stupid stick shift (gonna be doing that all day tomorrow)
- get braces off (have my "2nd to last" appointment tomorrow morning)
- get school squared away (registering for online courses on August 3rd, figure college out, possibly ISU)

I'm like... getting my shit together. It's awesome. My room has been... well, a lot cleaner than it is used to. Always a good thing, shows an improvement in mood and motivation, which I've struggled with (AS YOU WELL KNOW HURHUR). Work is going well, not very high on hours, but now that I'm no longer in debt, small paychecks still work as long as I'm smart about spending. That and school supply season is coming up, so that'll change rather quickly.

And just... jeeze. This is one of the best summers I've had in a long time. I guess I "met" somebody, although I already knew him, just had an opportunity to get to know him better, and things are just... making sense. He's incredible to me - everything about him. We're both coming from nasty break up histories, so we're sort of helping each other re-learn how things are supposed to go (except it feels brand new.) And whether things work out romantically or not, I think it's going to be a life-long friendship at the very least. But we're both really happy and trust each other, and I think that's the important thing.

And who knows, once I get my shit together, maybe we'll go to college together. I'd like that a lot. But let's not count our chickens, amirite? I do know that in the near future I'd like to drag my dad's camping gear out and head up to the mountains for a weekend, rough it out like old times.

So in short, EVERYTHING'S GOING SO WELLLLLL.

<3